前些日子在早报上看到一篇名为《别人的好》的文章。

其中有几段还蛮引起我的共鸣的：

“除非你永远关在小小的窝里不出门， 除非你永远都躲在别人的窗口内羡慕窗外的风景， 否则一定会在某种程度上经历 ‘梦幻破灭’的过程，也就在那一刻，我明白羡慕归羡慕，自己的生活终究还是得由自己去雕塑成型。”

“之所以什么都觉得别人的比较好，可能是因为久久看一次很新鲜，远远看比较顺眼的缘故。”

别人的，未必什么都好。只是你都没机会看到别人的不好吧？毕竟人总是会隐藏起自己不好的一面。

写星星

烤太阳

喝月亮

吃白云

to be honest i really get disheartened. confuse. puzzle. withour knowing what to do next. people always said they have "dark path" for their lives and i used to think it's too exaggerate.

but now i starting to find that is quite true. without knowing what to do the next. without knowing the choice u make now at this point of time, if u are going to regret it for life.

i once so determined that i'm going to work and serve the bond with singapore government. work for 3 years. taking part time. save money. save money. save money. and when the time comes i can bid singapore goodbye and go and pursue my dreams in another land.

and it turns out to be just a dream. nothing else more than that. because, there is simply no jobs available out there for us. these so-called graduate from poly with diploma in biotechnology.

sounds cool huh? but what good is a sound-cool cert if out there, yeah out-there, u wont be able to really get a job which u can find job satisfaction in it?

i wonder.

the statistic always shown there are lot of job vacancies. the listings in jobstreets.com got updated every single day. but how come people still not getting a job? as in, those in this field. biotech. if i'm the only one still cant find a job, at least i can convince myself that i'm not good enough or i'm too picky. but with all my friends around me still can't find a job, u think i can deceive myself that 'things are still within control'? bull shit all those statistics.

and our da-jie JHo was telling us the other day in chalet that times are so bad people will go to study if they can, instead of keep looking in job.

a-jia say she'll give herself one more month. i think i'll just give it up to half a year.

and TS said he will start planning once secure a job 1st. (which is i dunno when. but i dun dare to ask him that.)

then me how??? how how how??? puzzle*

This is indeed meaningful.. Only time can prove the existance of love.

My online buddy was asking me if I'm so busy that i didn't have time to update whatever things/events that happen here. Around me.

I'd want to. I swear. It just that life is so bore and monotonous that I typically got nothing to say/elaborate on it.

Get it?

Continue to my previous entry.- hehee

But before that, I must tell you all this. It's raining outside. Heavy. It was pouring with rain drip drip dripping off the trees plink plonk into the water butt.

And i realize one would be drench (meaning REAL wet from head to toe), with or without the marvelous invention call umbrella.

Met KQ, who is now working in some Account company and Audit Assistant. Still the old same KQ. wahaha funny still.

Met KC and his friend-opps Kai sth?? Oh my god cannot remember--AGAIN! Opps KC you better don't tell your friend about this.

Met DSim and ARaja$$ for yum cha.

The craziest thing i ever done, before i step into the age that resemble adulthood in less than 2 months- mE and DSim and ARaja$$ went to Malacca. In one day. A one-day trip to Malacca. Funny enough that we just go there for Chicken Rice and a short shopping in Jusco Melaka. Nothing else. Not satisfying of they actually got me up early in the morning (like 10 plus), I did buy something, just to amuse myself.

I said it's crazy, and so did ARaja$$. The average speed DSim brought his car is 130-140km/hour in our journey to Melacca, and 120-130km/hour in our journey back to JB. I'm quite glad that I'm still alive in some way-- and my mom is kind of looking at me in this suspicious way "How fast you all brought the car? Be back to JB from Melacca in like.. 5 hours?"

And we had dinner together before heading home.

It was crazy. And we didn't even take ANY photo for that crazy experience. and Melaka the historical town in Malaysia remains utterly mysterious to me still.

Hope i'll be travel to there again- soon.

I spend more than 1 week rot at home in JB. Typically ROT since i do nothing but sleep and eat, with occasionally helping out with the house-chores-- except that i somehow wake up much too late-- according to my mom-- so i just got to help in preparing those vege and meats meant for lunch and dinner, and mopping the floor. Urgh it sounds so Auntie right? Thats' why i'm back in Sg again. *Grinz*

Sometimes stay at home for too long can be nothing but simply a nightmare- those silly little niggly rules, you know. and Moms DO fuss! And they fuss quite a lot. You have to decide for yourself whether it's just a justified fuss, or just a Mom fuss. If it's just a Mom fuss, it's OK to ignore it. Well, that's what i think.

Met up some friends, current and old during the so-called holidays. It's.. awesome. Dredge up things from the past could be nice and funny, and out of sudden this great surge of joy just came over me! Wow that could be the most wonderful things ever!!

which one to go which one to go??? aiiz.. so many places to go so many people to meet BUT yet so little time so little money  =(

Back from Pulau Ubin. The trip was fabulous. We saw wild boars. Wild boarS. 'coz there are 2 of them. ha it's cool. First time i go Ubin. And first time to see wild boar alive (except in zoo). People might have been Ubin for N times. But how many of them actually see wild boars at Ubin?

The only thing that i somehow more and more worried after the trip is.. hmm// i got more and more patches on my limbs. And they are Itchy!! Gosh there goes my sweet sweet dreams. Was waking up at the middle of the night-- scratching big time.

Thinking about that-- my allergies. Recall Ms. Chan's part for the module Immunology, this could be classified as Hypersensitivity Type IV 'coz it's delayed type?? hmph. But i wonder what the hell i'm sensitive to?? Don't tell me that the mosquitoes in Ubin are simply more poisonous..

Darn.. Itchy here and there.

To My Beloved Mom:

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

I Love You

and thanks for loving us the way you do.

tonight will finally sleep before 12am ba.. that's what i think.. normal life.. farnie

for the past 5 days i slept REAL late-- sth like 3-4am. and yesterday is even more ridiculous. 5am. and i could even heard my neighbour's alarm ringing non-stop and birds out there rehearse for "The Dawn Chorus"-- just that it's crows that are doing the singing. ergh.

still no news from any companies. hmm going to penang soon. and possibly KL? well think the whole month of May i'll be doing nothing but travelling and meeting new people.. yeah it's good--but only mentally.. but in real life i'm a bit heartache lehz.. spend money like i struck toto ar...

to myself-- niteyz..

According to Marieb E.N. "Essential of Human Anatomy and Physiology 6th Ed.", pp 9, the word HOMEOSTASIS means "the body's ability to maintain relatively stable internal conditions even thought the outside world is continuously changing", with homeo= the same and stasis= standing still. But it's not 'unchanging' at all to be exact. Instead, it indicates a DYNAMIC state of equilibrium.

I do wonder why our sophiscate body can function well for most of the time-- and ironically, exteriorly, meaning between individual to individual or to the environment out there, not many people able to achieve (or even maintain) the so-called "homeostasis". Upon civilisation thousands of people out there facing something which i would called "homeostasis imbalance"--  as a result of disturbance. All kind of disturbances.

Just when i'm trying hard to get my mind all concentrated and think about what KC told me earlier in this week, i got disturbed for N times. Phone calls, sms, strangers knocking door (which i dun even bother to answer and YET she and he, yes there are 2 of them, actually knocked for a full 10 minutes and keep on 'halo anyone inside?').. blarr

Still spending my time doing nothing, as in, things that do not have specific names that i'd be able to name them. Typically these few days i sleep at around 4am, and get into sleep at 2am last night, i would say, it's kindda early.

Met KL for CL's birthday present yesterday. Funny no one now at this moment has the mood for any party-- or stuff like that. But still invitations come one another. Bang my head. I'm getting bore. tired. impatient. insecure, especially with this kind of life i'm leading right now. My dear BTan always arrange my part-time's schedules in night. Now all my homeostasis is strongly disturbed. Even my biological clock is kindda weird. Now it's 2pm already and i haven eat anything since. And funny i dun even feel the hunger which i normally would have felt. I'm getting weird i guess.

I saw the name all over the place yesterday.
I dun feel good.
Actually, i feel sad.

i do think i'm going to have mental disorder soon. real soon.

talking to different individuals at the very same time make my mood swing sometimes here and in just one blink to the other way.

example:

fren #1: having problem with the gal he like. but she has a bf already. but my fren#1 just couldn't forget her. he even dunno wat to do without her.

my role: beside comforting with my limited vocab, i can only sigh with him.

fren#2: waiting anxiously for his crush to give him an answer. THAT answer.

my role: wish him lotsa luck. assure him things will turn out fine.

fren#3: had a big fight with her bf. was wondering if she shud broke up with him. siao one. dunno this is the N times she said that?

my role: only keep quiet. dun want to say snything lioa.

and ppl starting to ask abt my personal life on this. ergh i dunno. pls dun irritate me..

and KC: thanks

only a few day start working (part time) but then feel darn tired already. sometimes really angry with myself coz unable to keep myself in clear mind and full of strength all day. hmph! feel so old. but i desperately need to work-- as in, i need to cling on this job-- even temporary. coz my mom officially announce that she will only help me pay room rental. other fees i shall pay by my own.

good one. luckily i still have some savings. my dad? he gave me those "dun look at me" look that time. darn.

haven find any full-time job. i wonder if anyone wants me? haha

just find a rich-kia and marry him-- my fren said that earlier to me. siao huh? well i think it's kindda siao though.

blarr

will be AWAY again.. replenish? hehe

=D  good luck everyone

*p/S: to KC if u happen to see this-- kinnda impossible for us to meet up for this coming wkend-- but don't worry there'll still be next time i guess? take care!

Haven’t been seeing my colleagues cum friends (Fel, Jess, etc) for quite a long time since I stop working last few weeks ago. Yesterday night was too busy to talk, and today schedule from 2.30-10.30pm give me quite a lot of spare time chit-chatting (or I should say, catching up?? Haha) with Jess. I think today is the 1^st time I ever see her so relax and like ‘dun care let’s just talk’ that kind of mood. Great. Talking a little bit sometimes (with we STILL attending the customers) during the boring working hours make one feel more refresh. At least that’s what I think.

KLee is no more in Holland branch. The new supervisor is IKhor. Quite nice lady I heard people say—and I suppose she is better? I dunno. Only time will tell.

The best thing of all, Jess promise to borrow me the book from Mark Hadden, “The curious incident of the dog in the night time”. Cool. That is the book I read till half way last time when AD borrowed me. Finally have the chance to finish up the book. *grinz*

Was serving this unreasonable customer from Jakarta when we were starting to do closing. A-hem. Let’s not talk about it. urghh..

Was talking to ah-die earlier when we were having lunch.. i just realized it’s merely one week after my very last paper of PlantBio on 15^th Apr. feel so much like it was already 1 month I’ve been in holiday. Guess I’m too free? aiiz.

It’s been quite a while since I last contact with Japanese food. Went to Sakae Sushi buffet with hh couple and KT and CYan. Was VERY full—it’s just like the food was up there at my.. esophagus?? My whole stomach and digestive system then doesn’t seem right for the next 8 hours. Feels horrible. Hahahaa but it was fun. Sometimes people need to be tortured a bit so they’ll cherish themselves more? Whew sounds a bit pervert. hehee

Okie start working again on Thursday, in which I was told in Msia it was holiday (ahmm…) nvm. But my ‘beloved’ (gzzzz) manager actually challenge me by arrange the schedule in such a way only 5 persons worked. (because usual weekday it should be 6 persons working). And that was my 1^st day resume work! Tired until I can’t walk/talk/chat properly I dozed off half way when I was reading I-weekly. urgh.

Today is actually quite okie except that tiredness do accumulate, and they have been carried over from yesterday tension at work. Luckily went to library with ah-die and watched this real nice Iran movie named “The Colours of Paradise” directed by Majid Majidi, the director for “Children of Heaven” as well (that’s the Pao ba, Hai Zi in Chinese, directed by Jack Neo some years ago).the film is touching—I wouldn’t mind to watch it again if have chance.

Also get to borrow some book using ah-die’s name—finally got some book for proper reading. Well guess when I’m back from jb next week I shall start tidy up room? hehhee. Of coz not forgetting seriously find a full time job? Though I really don’t think there are still so-called “related” job out there—not before the local uni starts their new semester as AD said? We’ll see.

Still manage to memorize 3 Japo vocab per day—quite a good news for me since memorizing is always a no-no for me. And this is the 3^rd day already! Haha gambatte!

I’m now in the period of “adaptation” for my newly-done RGP (RGP= rigid gas permeable) lenses. To be more specific it’s my eyes that are in the period of adaptation. As the name itself suggest, it is RIGID. Other may be more familiar with the name “hard lens”. But according to my lovely friend Mr. Tham it is different in some way. Exactly which way, well I can’t remember.

Am trying very hard to convince myself that the lens are not ‘hard’ enough for them to get noticeable. But that is a tough job. They are hard. They are noticeable. They ain’t like soft lens of which you’ll get used to it in just eye blinks. And most dreadful thing is when it comes to the end of the day when one has to clean their lens. I used to complain quite a lot already when I was in my soft lens, since it is ‘recommended’ that people should rinse and rub both side of each of their lens for 5-10 seconds before store them in the case for at least 4 hours. Well since that is of ‘recommended’ I used to be quite (ok let’s admit it, I AM) lazy to do as recommended, especially if you are like, darn tired and can’t wait to go to sleep? I did sometimes just take out the lens and placed them back into the case with the used solution. Haha yeah I know that sounds very horrible of me in the way of so-called taking care of the lens. I’m glad I’m not taking Optometry in SP. Can imagine it wouldn’t be very convincing if I’m telling my patients not to do such stuff with their lens.

Oh yeah talking about rinsing, the RGP need typically 3 different types of solution for cleaning, rinsing, and finally storing and disinfection. It was quite easy though, even if my laziness is still there. Since I’m still a new babe in this RGP thing, I’m not too sure which step I can actually omit. No choice but stick to the cleaning steps. Hehe ok I know I’m a bit no cure. Haha.

Some may start asking why I change to RGP at the 1^st place. Before I finally make up my mind and try out this RGP, I already did read somewhere about RGP. It was until my eye-care visit in the OptoCentre few months ago then the lecturer give me more ideas on this RGP. Thinking back he mentioned some people will need up to months for their adaptation period. (OMG!) if that is to happen to me then I’d be the most unfortunate people on earth! The other things about RGP is for their higher oxygen diffusion rate. In short, it’s healthier, and definitely cheaper in long run. (not to forget to mention about it’s troublesome-ness like I mentioned above). Well things always have 2 sides—both good and bad. Guess I’ll just have to get used to it.

The first day I put on the RGP the lens on left drop out half way when I’m watching tv (guess I was laughing too hard). The second day was quite ok. The third day morning when I woke up I began to feel discharge around my eyes (aiiz sianz) and for the day itself it just doesn’t feel as right as the days before. Then the following day I was so busy attend to my weirdo digestive system instead of the problem the lens gave me. And for yesterday and today I didn’t wear them coz I work. I do afraid if they pop out half way when I’m working and it landed somewhere in the food I served. Better dun play-play huh. hahaaa

Going back to OptoCentre soon for my after-care visit (or sth similar? I can’ remember the name also). Hope till then I’ll get more adapted to the lens already so the people won’t be like, too shock? One of the lecturer clinician told me my eyes are quite bad—which I don’t really understand what she means by that—and she doesn’t seem to want to tell me more on MY eyes. Ok whatever. Following my faulty nose, my eyes can be officially announced as the second sensing organ (for those above shoulder) for their partial lose in the functions??

Choi choi choi.  

pic#1: seems like the same with normal soft lens? it's not! it's much smaller..

pic#2: that's the main different i could say.. and notice it is smaller?